God is good!

God is good! That's all I can say. My family has a roof over their heads, and we will be ok. The lease was signed yesterday, walk-thru done today...and after the fiasco of "friends" dropping like flies (gotta love moving on a holiday weekend) and not having help...we managed to get help.

My kids...well, they are fabulous. Aidan, my sweet six year old, is moving on to 2nd grade. My baby boy, Liam, is into everything. He babbles, says dada, baba and such. Tries to walk, but isn't quite there yet. He is 10 months old, and I just want to cry because he's not that sweet, tiny baby anymore.

Hopefully, once we get moved into our new home we'll have the ability to...idk, maybe add pics :)

Until then...God Bless.

In His Love,
Amy

Mother's Day

Mother's Day...was awful. I had a heavy heart, and I honestly don't know why. We went to church, and at SECC, all mothers stand for a short two minute prayer. I fought crying through the whole service, and I knew when it was time to stand, that I would lose it. I did. Brian held my hand, and I prayed hard.

We went to bible study afterwards, and the subject at hand (we are taking a break from "The Story") was Marriage. We read from Ephesians 5:2-24, about the context of submission, and how you show the world your marriage is "different" in terms of being Christian. I was at a loss of words. I look at mine, and while my husband and I are both christians, I don't see that we have a Christian based marriage. Something we have to work on.

We went afterwards to my Gram's. I just couldn't shake the heavy heart. I went to the bathroom, and just cried and cried. I don't understand why though. Then, to make matters worse...my glasses broke. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am literally darn near blind. I can't see. So, I was frustrated after that. I am thankful I have Rx sunglasses so that I can see...it was just a little dark in there as it was rainy. We ate chicken and all the fixin's ;)

I honestly wish I could tell you why I am so sad. I have been praying about it, and praying that the Lord would fill me with the Holy spirit, with patience, and love...and understanding. We have gotten an apartment, which we will move in to at the end of May. Brian is working odd jobs, enough to make sure we can pay rent and the few utilities we have. So, I just don't understand. But...maybe some things aren't for my understanding. I will just draw nearer to my God and find strength through Him. That being said, this song below is a source of strength for me. Blessings

Have a Blessed Day.

In His Light.
Amy

A Home?

We have been searching for a place to live for a while now. Nobody has had a vacancy in our area, in our price range. It has been so dang frustrating, and has taken a toll on both of us. Now, we have possibly found a place. I don't know that it will work, but we will at least know we did everything possible, if we do end up in the room. We won't know until maybe tomorrow, so for anyone who reads this, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This is up to God, as we don't know whether this is His will. We both feel positive about it, but I felt positive about another place and we didn't meet their requirements.

More later...

I Miss Them.

Missing my dad has been heavy on my heart. I miss him, and my Mama Cashman. I cannot call them. Heaven has no telephones, postal service or e-mail. Wouldn't it be awesome if they did have internet, so they could read this? Ha. I know, I make no sense. But, this is who I am. I saw Papa today, at Sophie's birthday party. I honestly still feel weird being with Papa and Mama being gone. One without the other...it's not "normal".

I was watching Father Daughter dances on YouTube tonight, because they have some funny ones. Brian asked me why I was watching them and torturing myself. We have been to, I believe, two weddings since my dad passed. I couldn't watch that dance. I feel jealous, angry, and sad. I am jealous because I didn't get that opportunity with my dad. He was too sick to be at my wedding, and my uncle walked me down the aisle. I am angry because I want my dad here with me, and I am sad because I just miss him so much I ache. It never goes away. I am 28 years old, and the thought of another lifetime without him is often too much to bear.

My dad and I had a rough relationship. He was bipolar, and we were too much alike, so we fought a lot as I was growing up. He could be emotionally abusive. He kicked me out at 17, and we just...I don't know, we couldn't live together. So, we didn't. I still loved him. He moved to Arkansas to be with Momma in...heck, I don't remember what year that was. Maybe 2002. Once I grew up, we got along better, and that's when his epilepsy got nearly uncontrollable. They finally got it under control, but he had heart issues as well. He was someone that I wanted to hold onto for dear life, because I knew he wouldn't be there with me for long.

Mama Cashman. :) She is...she was the 'other' grandma I never had. I won't go into detail about how I met her, but she is a close friend of mine's grandma. She kept me sane many of times, and she listened. Mama and Papa took me in, and I lived in their garage 'room'. She loved me like a grandma would. She wasn't one of those "baking" grandmas. She and I would sit down at the kitchen table, watch our "Days of Our Lives" and "Passions" (both of which are soap operas, but Passions is no longer on) and talk about the story line. We would talk about anything and everything. Gosh, I miss that woman.

I didn't realize I had written a novel...so I think I'll stop now. I hope that my dad and my mama know how much I love and miss him, and I totally can't wait until we're reunited again.

In His Love,
Amy

Not much to say.

We're still here, and we're still looking. Praying that the Lord will show us where we're supposed to go. We looked at a nice apartment today, but it's in Mt. Washington, and Brian just doesn't want to leave the Louisville area. So, we're back to square one, and nerves are wearing thin. We have less than a month...well, we're moving out the 20th, whether we have somewhere or not. But, thats NOT a lot of time, especially when nobody, and I mean nobody has rentals available in this area that are in our price range and our needed size.

I feel as though God is telling us to relocate, but since Brian doesn't feel it...we're hitting a brick wall. I just don't want to see what happens if we disobey Him. I am just curious...if your a couple, and you get one message, but your spouse doesn't ...what do you do with it? Hmmm...

In His Love,
Amy

Smile!

Today started my training for walking/running the Mini-Marathon next year. I am pumped to do this, as I have never been very athletic. I killed 2.10 miles in about 36 minutes. Not much, but it's a lot for me. Next time, I will remember to bring water. :)

Brian has gotten another job. It is in landscaping. I am afraid to get excited, as he doesn't go for testing for another two weeks. We still have to move, and as of right now, I am not sure how we'll do it. God's guiding us, I know that much.

With all of that...I am super tired. God Bless.

In His Love,
Amy