Such an amazing God!

To God be the glory. That's all I can say.

My NYC trip has been paid for. On January 24th, 2013 I will be boarding a plane, and flying to NY. For the first time, I will be going to stay in NYC. I do have mixed emotions about it. Why? Because I.feel.guilty. My husband works hard to provide for us, and I am leaving him and our boys alone for the first time ever. I have left Aidan and Brian for a week at a time, but I knew Brian could handle Aidan by himself. Aidan was not a baby or a toddler. He was four and five. This time, Brian and I have a strong marriage and I am not in the mentality of a "vacation" away from it all. I am love my husband with all my heart, and leaving him and being away from our family for three days, four actually, will be hard.

I have received a lot of criticism from people in regards to this trip. We don't have much income, so I got people telling me that I had no business going. I even heard, "You have no business going on this trip, especially by begging people for money to go". Yeah. I did not beg for one penny. I didn't ask for money. I used fundraisers, which meant not getting 100% of the money...but knowing I had to work that much harder to fund it. I was gifted this money. The Lord provided the money through His children. It stinks that people look at things that way. So that's how I raised $1,500. It was a learning experience, and I learned that when God wants you to do something, by golly, He'll provide for it.

I also had a realization last night. Let's start at the beginning. My husband stopped wearing his wedding band years ago. He said it caused his skin to get irritated, and he didn't like the design. It made me always insecure. I remember always feeling like the carpet was going to be pulled out from under me, because I always feared he was wanting out of our marriage. In the past year, we gave our marriage (and our lives) to Christ. Our marriage grew stronger, but it was still wobbly. I knew he "wasn't going anywhere", but I never felt like I truly made him happy. I am a mediocre housewife {what can I say, I am not a neat freak and it sucks cleaning up after everyone 24/7}, and with two kids, and being a student, I am tired. Brian participated in the "Faces of Christ" retreat during the first weekend of October. That was the beginning of a wonderful new beginning for us. Before he left for the retreat, he asked me if I knew where his wedding ring was. I did, and I got it for him. He put that ring on his left hand ring finger, and he left. When he came home, we talked..and we were getting stronger still. He didn't take it off, like I had expected him to. So, last night, we were watching TV together, and I look over at him. His ring is on his finger...and I felt secure. We have been through hell and back. We love each other. He is my husband...and I am the love of his life. I've never had that before. I have a man who adores me, and loves me. and I feel like I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Brian has been offered a job at a plant here, and while it is contingent on a background check/drug-test and physical, I think we may be seeing the door opening. Still keeping my fingers crossed for a new career direction. I want to work in Christian Worship, but I have no.idea where to start. So for right now, I'll continue working with the medical field which is my major right now, and playing with cupcakes and praying.

Love to all,
Amy

Reality is...having no car sucks

Sometimes you have to sit back and remind yourself that God is in control. I feel like a child who is on the verge of a temper tantrum right now. It is so minor in other people's lives, and it seems so frivolous for me to mention...but I need a car. A working car with four wheels, that has heat (at least) and good gas mileage. I don't want one because it's cool to have one. I need one because trying to get the stuff done that I need to get done with no vehicle is, well, impossible. My husband works when he can, and usually those days go from 9-7 or so. He is so tired by the time he gets home, I have to wait, or ask my mom top come and get me and drag the kids out to go to the store. Or the laundry mat, or pick Aidan up from school. The laundry mat in our complex is caddy-corner across the street, the trash compactor is on the other side of the neighborhood, and 99% of the time, I am alone with Liam. So, it's not feasible being on the 3rd floor, and trying to drag a 14 month old and a basket of laundry down the steps and across the parking lot..or to drag a bag or two of trash like that. I have a home bakery I tried running out of my home but I can't get out to get supplies for surprise orders.

I keep reminding myself that if I was meant to have one, I would have one. I just have a hard time feeling like a child asking for a ride here, can I go there. It seriously sucks. It's the little things that I complain about, and I hate complaining about it. It makes me sad. I used to have friends who wanted to hang out with me, and since I have no car, and I have to ask for rides places...needless to say I am not invited anymore. Maybe they aren't "true friends"...I like to believe they are. I just don't know what to think about anything anymore.  All I know, is that there is no point is crying over it (tell my body that!) and since this is my blog, I can complain here because nobody reads it anyway. LoL

God Bless,
Amy

What a weekend!

This weekend was so anticipated, but of course, flew by. My sweet cousin was married this Saturday in Indianapolis. My husband, my sweet boys and I packed up a rental (a Hyundai Sonata *grin*) and drove two and a half hours to be there for it. My youngest brother, whom is a truck driver, was there as well. I haven't seen him in three years. I also hadn't seen Bobby, my uncle and aunt since then either. My cousin, Jenn, I haven't seen since I was I was 9!

The wedding was beautiful. It was small,simple, intimate, personal and memorable. They had a wedding ceremony that I wish I had had. Karin (my new cousin by marriage I guess), is so sweet. She is beautiful and I know she completes Bobby. Our trip itself was memorable, as we barely missed being taken out by a semi. I thank God that He protected us.
My husband and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. I didn't think we'd make it this far. He and I have dealt with so many trials. We have separated, reconciled, and a year ago brought Christ into our marriage.  He surprised me with dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. Our boys were in tow, as we didn't have a babysitter. It was good food, and we had a good time.
Sunday was of course our church day. I felt horrible because I had a massive headache and my neck was stiff so I honestly couldn't tell you what I got from the sermon. All I knew if I felt like poo.
On Monday, we went to church again. Our church hosts an annual event called "Family Palooza" which is a free community event with bouncies, petting zoos, games and such. Brian and I volunteered to work in the WAY-FM radio booth. Brian took the first shift, and I was supposed to take the next one. Well, I lost track of time and he ended up working mine too. Aidan had such a blast there. It was muggy, humid and even rained a few times...but we had fun. We also got 4 tickets to Holiday World! We are taking Aidan and our niece, Hailey on the 22nd.
This weekend was wonderful. I miss my family already. I hope I get to see them again soon. Now, I have a TON of homework to do. So I must say Good night.
Blessings,
Amy

Summer Fun, and an update.

This summer wasn't as full of fun stuff as I would have liked for the boys. I look back on it, and it was pretty boring. The highlights were Holiday World (an amusement park up in Santa Claus, Indiana), going to the swimming pool twice, going to the J'Town Community Fair and going to the KY State Fair
Holiday World was fun, but HOT! It was 105 degrees outside, so we stayed at the water park. It was just Aidan and I. He loved getting to spend time with me without Li, or Daddy. We went up with our friend, Missi and her little guy, Dillon. He enjoyed spending time in the water.
The J'Town community Fair was just a small carnival type thing in a church parking lot. Aidan liked the bouncies..but that was about all he did.
The KY State Fair, he loved. We saw Newsboys and Sanctus Real in concert that night, so his day was complete. He didn't get to ride any rides, but he loved it none the less. He enjoyed the TARC bus, and getting to go through the giant blow up heart. We enjoyed time as a family.
On another note, I want to say I am truly amazed at how wonderful and loving our God is. If you've been reading...our choir was invited to sing with MWS in NYC. Well, God has been providing the money through so many wonderful donations and some fundraising efforts. It is amazing how God provides, when it is His will. Thank you.

Aidan excited about the fair :) and Liam

Aidan and the "Boy Fairbear"

Liam ready to run.

I promise, I will post pics soon. My phone is my only internet connection and my phone posts pics sideways. :-/ So, anyway. Thanks for reading.
God Bless.

Blessings

I am blessed. I truly am. I am a child of God. I am a wife to a husband who loves me, and treats me with respect. A mother to two boys who are just wonderful and brilliant. I attend a wonderful church, and though we've been attending SECC for about a year now, we're finally meeting new friends.

My trip to NYC is God's will, or seems to be. Two wonderful couples in our Weekend Couple's Group provided a large chunk of the first payment. My sister and I received a large cake order and that will fund $200 of it. I have started a new hair bow business, called "Bows and Such by Amy"....and I have a $350 order placed for October. That will help fund the second payment, I believe.

I am currently praying for a vehicle. My husband has to take any and all work he can get, so we have to sacrifice alot, including grocery trips, doctors appts and such. I know God is wonderful and will provide as His plan is. But...aside from that...well, I am just praying. I promise I will start adding pictures soon...They just always come out sideways on here if I upload them by my phone. However, I will have internet soon, as I start online classes tomorrow.

I feel blessed.

In His Love,
Amy

Life as I know it.

It has became quite obvious to me here in the past week or so, that the people I thought were friends...well, they aren't. I am heart broken, but there's not much that can fix it. I am who I am. I am a God loving woman, a wife, a mother...and if you don't love me for me, then I guess it's goodbye time. I have had five people I let myself get close to. Each and everyone of them have found another paths. I know it's God's way...but it still hurts.

My "sister" was the one I thought I'd grow old with. She is the only person that I'd share almost everything with. She recently decided that her path was taking her in a dramatically different area. I am not sure that we can find a medium ground now. I mean, she's my partner with our business...but I guess maybe we aren't supposed to be in business together. I seriously miss her companionship. I used to be able to text her and talk when I needed to, and vice versa. Now, I am lucky to get 5 sentences out of her. She's working now, and has a family...I understand that. I just don't matter anymore. Ok. I'll just move on.

But don't expect me to get close to anyone again. I'm over it.

Me? Stressed? No...Ha!

This month...well, it has been down right crazy. Brian is trying to work, the boys birthdays are back to back, I have to come up with my $150 deposit by July 21st and so, with 5 days left, I have $29. Yeah.

This past weekend, I decided with the help of my friend, Tori, that I would host a yard/bake sale. Literally one day planning, and I made $29. She makes hair bows, and taught me how to do it. My problem is I don't have a glue gun. So...I am unable to make more. Then again, I am not selling the ones I made Saturday anyway. However, Tori and I caught up, our kids played...and the much needed rain we'd been begging for, finally came and rained us out. So, now I am back at square one.

The eagerness to go on this trip is so much, and I don't feel as though God is telling me now....but it is like taking over my life. I can't stop thinking about it. Constantly wondering what else I can try. I have to raise $150 by July 21st, and 50% of the amount due (about $600) by August. That's a lot of hair bows, that I am not even able to sell. I am...honestly beginning to feel beat. If it's God's will, then I suppose it will happen. But it sure is tiring.

Oh yes. So, I got my financial aid reward letter. I am excited. Eligible for a PELL and a CAP grant. Woohoo! Awesomeness. Down side, is registration is this week. Yikes! So, Brian has to take me downtown to register...I think. I have changed (yet again) my major. I need something...generic. the medical field is flooded and jobs are impossible. So, business management it is. HR management is what I am going for.

The boys birthday party is Saturday. Hoping for the best.