T-Minus 2 Days...

On Thursday morning, I will be boarding an airplane and heading to NYC. After 6 months of fundraising, planning, organizing...and a week of rehearsals :) We are finally heading out. I will be taking LOTS, and I do mean LOTS of pictures. I am looking forward to the experience, and though it will be COLD..FRIGID there, I will enjoy it. I plan on going to Time Square (such a tourist trap, I know I know...), the 9/11 Memorial (WTC/Ground Zero), Empire State Building (I hope, I think a ticket to this was included, but it's not shown on our master schedule, so who knows), and of course, Carnegie Hall.

I won't lie. I am a freeze tail, and don't anticipate much beyond that...but I guess a part of me is hopeful to get put with someone who is going to other places. I don't want the extra cash for much. In fact, I will probably eat McDonald's every day (with a Starbucks splurge here and there) and maybe splurge on a piece of cheesecake. But, all i care about is serving God, and doing what He wants me to do there. HE put me there. Without Him, this trip would not have even been a possibility.

God Bless.

New Me 2013

I am excited! I have a digital camera now. Which means, you will be getting more pictures of my sweet boys, more often. Yeah! With that being said, I don't have any yet. I do have to announce though that I am about to begin my New Me 2013 "make over". What does that mean? Well, see, I realized over the past two weeks that I truly look pretty gross. Time, pregnancy and life have not been kind to my little body. I am a small lady at 5'2. So my weight is a huge issue. I have been looking for smoothie ideas that may help me detox my body and giving me energy, while keeping the right amount of caffeine so that I may ward off any migraines. I have an addiction to Sunkist and snacking on unhealthy foods. My husband has been mentioning this for quite some time, and I think I have finally gotten to the gross stage.

My problem is that having a c-section after Liam, my stomach muscles sit funny. My goal is to flatten the tummy and get rid of the love handles so that I can be remotely attractive to my husband again. So, I am searching for the right plan that fits into what little life I have, as my life revolves around my kids and my home. Anyway. That being said, I plan on revealing my plan more as I delve into what I am look at.

Anyway, this month will be busy. Schools starts next week, and God willing, the mess that I have to deal with will be resolved and I will be able to get caught up as I won't be able to start on time. NYC is less than three weeks away, and we have not had any rehearsals yet. Yeah. Crunch time, no car, no sitter...this will be fun.

In His Love,
Amy

Hearts Desires

The last month or so has been a whirlwind. I finished the semester for school (3.5 GPA, go me!) We have gotten into the swing of having a new job, and how the dynamics were going to work. My boys are missing their daddy, but it is all working out.

We're on Christmas break right now, and loving every minute. Having my family together just brings me such joy and excitement. This week, we plan on spending as much time as we can together. We finally put up a mini Christmas tree this evening. It was something for us all to enjoy {and say, "No touch!" to Liam. HA!}. Christmas Eve, we will be buying a few last minute gifts for my mom and Grandma...then we'll have dinner and Aidan and I will make Rice Krispie treat treats. Decorating rice krispie treats is something we adore. I am not much on cookies. Since we all love RKTs, I figure that will be a great alternative.

Brian and I are currently researching the possibility of sending Aidan to a private Christian school. It has been on my heart heavy, here lately. It was reallty heavy on the day of the Newtown, CT massacre. I cannot wrap my head around that entire thing, and I just feel like it is time for my boy to get the education he deserves in a safer environment. Yes, I know, private schools are no safer than public schools...but I feel my boy deserves a Christ-centered education. So, if it is God's will, then He will provide the way go to.

NYC is about four weeks away! I can't believe it. It is right around the corner. Mom is going to watch the boys for me since Brian is currently on second shift. I am nervous. My sweet Liam has never been away from me for this long, so I know we'll be going crazy without each other. Aidan, I believe, will be ok. But...I am excited too. I am looking forward to visiting the WTC Memorial Park, and experiencing NYC. No Broadway shows for this Momma. LoL I looked up ticket costs and it is no less than  $150 a ticket. Yeah, so I believe my happy bum will be Skyping with my babies and getting a full-nights sleep for once. Ha!

Here lately, on my heart...is the deep need/desire for a sweet little girl. My husband is not wanting anymore children, but I don't feel at peace with the "we're done" mentality. I don't think we are. I am just not sure whether it would be by adoption or by birth, that I would have this need met. I have been praying about it. Haven't gotten a clear answer yet. :)

Anyway...hope to have tons of pictures up of our Christmas day. So, on that note. I am off to bed.

In His Light,
Amy

Brian has a job!

Whew! So its been a while since I have updated the blog. I don't think I have anybody really reading it, so it's more for me I guess. Anyway. So, Brian finally managed to get a job. To say that it is an adjustment is an understatement! I feel like I am in the middle of a horrible flashback. The hours he worked at his last job were horrid. This one...well, it is just as bad.

Please don't get me wrong. I am truly grateful for this job, I am. I just have to get used to being a single mom again. Last time, it was difficult because I was without a car for such a small time; well, now it is difficult for the same reason. Except I have activities that we're involved in that I am on the verge of losing because I simply don't have transportation. Brian works from 3pm until between 12-2am depending on OT. Aidan has to have a way to school, so it's a daily nerve issue because I am not sure if Brian will be able to get up to take him to school (I can't drive the truck due to physical issues). I just raised $1,500 for my NYC trip, and getting to choir rehearsal is necesary. Aidan is involved in a Bible Bowl activity that we received financial assistance for, so I need to keep him in that. I know the Lord will provide ways for this, I am just trying to adjust to it.

We are hoping to find a car to purchase within the next 6-8 weeks, and a rental house within the next 6-8 months. I think once we manage to get the car issue taken care of, things will fall into place.

In His Love,
Amy

Such an amazing God!

To God be the glory. That's all I can say.

My NYC trip has been paid for. On January 24th, 2013 I will be boarding a plane, and flying to NY. For the first time, I will be going to stay in NYC. I do have mixed emotions about it. Why? Because I.feel.guilty. My husband works hard to provide for us, and I am leaving him and our boys alone for the first time ever. I have left Aidan and Brian for a week at a time, but I knew Brian could handle Aidan by himself. Aidan was not a baby or a toddler. He was four and five. This time, Brian and I have a strong marriage and I am not in the mentality of a "vacation" away from it all. I am love my husband with all my heart, and leaving him and being away from our family for three days, four actually, will be hard.

I have received a lot of criticism from people in regards to this trip. We don't have much income, so I got people telling me that I had no business going. I even heard, "You have no business going on this trip, especially by begging people for money to go". Yeah. I did not beg for one penny. I didn't ask for money. I used fundraisers, which meant not getting 100% of the money...but knowing I had to work that much harder to fund it. I was gifted this money. The Lord provided the money through His children. It stinks that people look at things that way. So that's how I raised $1,500. It was a learning experience, and I learned that when God wants you to do something, by golly, He'll provide for it.

I also had a realization last night. Let's start at the beginning. My husband stopped wearing his wedding band years ago. He said it caused his skin to get irritated, and he didn't like the design. It made me always insecure. I remember always feeling like the carpet was going to be pulled out from under me, because I always feared he was wanting out of our marriage. In the past year, we gave our marriage (and our lives) to Christ. Our marriage grew stronger, but it was still wobbly. I knew he "wasn't going anywhere", but I never felt like I truly made him happy. I am a mediocre housewife {what can I say, I am not a neat freak and it sucks cleaning up after everyone 24/7}, and with two kids, and being a student, I am tired. Brian participated in the "Faces of Christ" retreat during the first weekend of October. That was the beginning of a wonderful new beginning for us. Before he left for the retreat, he asked me if I knew where his wedding ring was. I did, and I got it for him. He put that ring on his left hand ring finger, and he left. When he came home, we talked..and we were getting stronger still. He didn't take it off, like I had expected him to. So, last night, we were watching TV together, and I look over at him. His ring is on his finger...and I felt secure. We have been through hell and back. We love each other. He is my husband...and I am the love of his life. I've never had that before. I have a man who adores me, and loves me. and I feel like I am the luckiest woman in the world.

Brian has been offered a job at a plant here, and while it is contingent on a background check/drug-test and physical, I think we may be seeing the door opening. Still keeping my fingers crossed for a new career direction. I want to work in Christian Worship, but I have no.idea where to start. So for right now, I'll continue working with the medical field which is my major right now, and playing with cupcakes and praying.

Love to all,
Amy

Reality is...having no car sucks

Sometimes you have to sit back and remind yourself that God is in control. I feel like a child who is on the verge of a temper tantrum right now. It is so minor in other people's lives, and it seems so frivolous for me to mention...but I need a car. A working car with four wheels, that has heat (at least) and good gas mileage. I don't want one because it's cool to have one. I need one because trying to get the stuff done that I need to get done with no vehicle is, well, impossible. My husband works when he can, and usually those days go from 9-7 or so. He is so tired by the time he gets home, I have to wait, or ask my mom top come and get me and drag the kids out to go to the store. Or the laundry mat, or pick Aidan up from school. The laundry mat in our complex is caddy-corner across the street, the trash compactor is on the other side of the neighborhood, and 99% of the time, I am alone with Liam. So, it's not feasible being on the 3rd floor, and trying to drag a 14 month old and a basket of laundry down the steps and across the parking lot..or to drag a bag or two of trash like that. I have a home bakery I tried running out of my home but I can't get out to get supplies for surprise orders.

I keep reminding myself that if I was meant to have one, I would have one. I just have a hard time feeling like a child asking for a ride here, can I go there. It seriously sucks. It's the little things that I complain about, and I hate complaining about it. It makes me sad. I used to have friends who wanted to hang out with me, and since I have no car, and I have to ask for rides places...needless to say I am not invited anymore. Maybe they aren't "true friends"...I like to believe they are. I just don't know what to think about anything anymore.  All I know, is that there is no point is crying over it (tell my body that!) and since this is my blog, I can complain here because nobody reads it anyway. LoL

God Bless,
Amy

What a weekend!

This weekend was so anticipated, but of course, flew by. My sweet cousin was married this Saturday in Indianapolis. My husband, my sweet boys and I packed up a rental (a Hyundai Sonata *grin*) and drove two and a half hours to be there for it. My youngest brother, whom is a truck driver, was there as well. I haven't seen him in three years. I also hadn't seen Bobby, my uncle and aunt since then either. My cousin, Jenn, I haven't seen since I was I was 9!

The wedding was beautiful. It was small,simple, intimate, personal and memorable. They had a wedding ceremony that I wish I had had. Karin (my new cousin by marriage I guess), is so sweet. She is beautiful and I know she completes Bobby. Our trip itself was memorable, as we barely missed being taken out by a semi. I thank God that He protected us.
My husband and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. I didn't think we'd make it this far. He and I have dealt with so many trials. We have separated, reconciled, and a year ago brought Christ into our marriage.  He surprised me with dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. Our boys were in tow, as we didn't have a babysitter. It was good food, and we had a good time.
Sunday was of course our church day. I felt horrible because I had a massive headache and my neck was stiff so I honestly couldn't tell you what I got from the sermon. All I knew if I felt like poo.
On Monday, we went to church again. Our church hosts an annual event called "Family Palooza" which is a free community event with bouncies, petting zoos, games and such. Brian and I volunteered to work in the WAY-FM radio booth. Brian took the first shift, and I was supposed to take the next one. Well, I lost track of time and he ended up working mine too. Aidan had such a blast there. It was muggy, humid and even rained a few times...but we had fun. We also got 4 tickets to Holiday World! We are taking Aidan and our niece, Hailey on the 22nd.
This weekend was wonderful. I miss my family already. I hope I get to see them again soon. Now, I have a TON of homework to do. So I must say Good night.
Blessings,
Amy